Mourning

Tonight we are mourning the loss of my Uncle Alton. We lost him to a heart attack this morning.

I am glad that Anya got to meet him a few months ago but I regret that she won't have the opportunity to grow up and really get to talk to him and enjoy the wonderful person that he is. Someone that I highly respected and so greatly miss right now.

Several years ago after the passing of my aunt Jo's granddaughter Audrey, a poem was on the service page and I always remembered it. It's a reminder that while we may physically leave this world our essence in the hearts of others does not go with us. We continue to be touched by our loved ones long after.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am in a thousand winds that blow,

I am the softly falling snow.

I am the gentle showers of rain,

I am the fields of ripening grain.

I am in the morning hush,

I am in the graceful rush

Of beautiful birds in circling flight,

I am the starshine of the night.

I am in the flowers that bloom,

I am in a quiet room.

I am in the birds that sing,

I am in each lovely thing.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there. I do not die.

- Mary Elizabeth Frye

Christmas Fun

We celebrated our first Christmas with Anya and what a day it was. Santa was very kind to her and we now have plenty of marginally noisy toys for her to enjoy at the wee hours of the morning. We only have a few pictures available at the moment but I wanted to share some that we have.







Have a happy holiday !!

The Townsends

Pray For Kayleigh

I honestly don't know how many people visit our little corner of the web here but for those that do I ask for a brief moment of your time.

Some may have noticed the banner above on our blog leading to the story of a little girl named Kayleigh with a story that I can hardly summarize for you and give it the respect it deserves. She was born the day before Anya was born and at 5 and a half months her fight for survival has reached a dark hour.

As a first time parent I cannot fathom the emotions that her parents, Aimee and Adam, are going through. I am in awe of them for their strength. I am not sure I could travel their path with the example they have shown.

I ask that in whatever way you wish to do, please send out some love or a prayer for little Kayleigh and her family. If you haven't read her story I greatly urge you to. You will be amazed how someone so tiny can have such a large impact on your life.

Brad

Catching Up

Well the last month or so has proven to be quite busy in the Townsend home. All of us have been passing around the sickness of the week on a fairly steady rotation and keeping up with the little one is an acrobatic feat unto itself.

So to make up for lost time we have another post with several pics to enjoy.

First up is one of Anya's favorite new activities...The Jenny Jumper. We set this up at grandmas house and she just went to hopping around and really had a blast.



Next up we have a trip to Grandma Ford's house for Thanksgiving where Anya got to try out a new chair that grandma got for her. As usual, the trademark smile is in full affect here.


And whats your first Thanksgiving without some holiday noms, sweet potatoes!


And last but not least we have a few pics of Anya in another new exotic location, her first time in her play pen. Jury is still out on this one.


Till next time...

The Townsends

Happy Halloween!!!

Happy Halloween from the Townsends!!

For the little ones first Halloween she is going as a little kitty cat. Enjoy the pictures!

Oh Nom Nom Nom

The little one continues to grow like a weed. We have recently started giving her a little bit of cereal along with her bottles. She loves to wear it as much as she loves to eat it. (These pictures don't do the mess justice by any means.)



She also started daycare this week and it has gone fairly well so far. She is napping during the day and has been a real charmer in the nursery. Today was a little rougher than the last three but she may have a little cold giving her some trouble.

Checking In and a Look Back

Things have been busy in the Townsend household which has left little time to post lately. However, at Katy's request I am getting up a picture of Anya with her new pierced ears. No one act quite polarizes the masses quite like getting this done but she did well and she looks pretty too.



We also recently received some more pictures that her transitional mom had taken during her care and she sent them to us so I have picked a few out to share.


Till next time

B

Anya Rolls Over!

So over the last week or so little Anya has surprised us with a new ability... she can roll over from her tummy to her back! Here is a video of her acrobatics. Be warned that my cell phone does really poor video so its really choppy and not of the best quality.

Enjoy!!!

2 Month Portraits

Today Katy took Anya to have some portraits taken of her while she is still a little wee bebe. Amazingly enough not only did she do a good job she was well behaved and really worked with the photographer. She did eventually get tired and cranky but we got some pretty good pictures of her before she did.


Here are a few samples. If you would like to see more of them then follow the "2 Month Portraits Gallery" link on the links section of the page.




She is such a cutie!

Teething !??!??

Ok, Anya has been a little off the past couple of days and we think she may be teething already (she is 8 weeks old today.) What we thought may be an increased appetite seems to be more the need to chew. Whether it be a finger, her pacifier, or even Katy's shoulder (yup you read that right) !!

We've looked and she does appear to have some light spots on her gums where teeth might be but honestly its hard to tell at this point. She has been lightly fussy today. We kinda desribe it as her hazy period. She hasn't been upset but every now and then will cry a few times and stop. During her nap this afternoon she was in and out a lot doing that but would drift right back out.

Anyone have some suggestions on how to sooth teething for a two month old? She's still too young for baby tylenol, baby orajel, and most any teething toy.

Swing

Several people from Katy's office in another county went in together and bought Anya a really fancy swing. Anya loves to swing and watch the fishes. It has also assisted on a few occasions getting her to nap some.




Just a note, I have added a links section that will go to all photo galleries as well as other notable places.

Good Traveller and Sweet Dreams

Our little Anya has quite a travel record going so far. Being a Texas kid she has obviously already traveled across half the state and all of Arkansas to be our daughter and about a week and a half ago she had her first trip to Missouri. Thankfully with a little bit of timing and luck she can be a real trooper when it comes to traveling.

This pic was taken on the road to MO and as you can see, have teddy bear - will travel.


We are also happy to say that since moving Anya to the "gentle" Enfamil formula she has been eating better and subsequently resting better afterwards. The only roadblocks to her eating well are the occasional bubble, dirty diaper, or her infamous ability to go comatose about halfway through. She can be a real goober sometimes ;) Another good point is that she is sleeping better and she usually will only get up twice a night and more of then than not she gets up once about 3:30.

For the most part we are home with her over the next couple of months with the occasional trip to the family in MO. I have to make the best of my afternoons after work with her. Thankfully the formula change has also made her less irritable in the afternoons so we get a chance to interact and talk more than we did the first few days. I still have a lot to learn but thankfully both Katy and Anya are patient with me.

All I know for sure is that when I hold her and she just stares at me and gives that little grin it just melts away pieces of the old me. Have I found out that being a daddy can be trying, frustrating, and tiring....absolutely, but the rewards are infinitely worth it. All for the love of a child.

First Bath, well, with us anyway ;)

Yesterday we gave Anya her first bath since she came home with us. She obviously does not share her daddy's dislike of getting wet because she just loved it.


However, we were a little shaky on this dismount as she does not care for the after the bath portion of the show. Fortunately, get her all bundled up and snuggle her and she comes around after a little while.


On a side note we have moved her off her soy based formula that she was put on while in transitional care to see if it helps with her tummy aches. /crossfingers

Home

We are home. It was a long trip back from Texas but little Anya traveled very well all things considered. She has a whirlwind tour ahead of her. Lots of folks want to see her and she gets to go see who I think it going to be her regular doctor. We will be taking her to meet my coworkers today before going to the doctor and she will get to meet the rest of the family tonight.

We will be heading out to see the rest of the family in Missouri on Friday for the weekend where we are having a baby shower on Sunday.

I look forward to the rest of the family being able to see her and love on her but I also look forward to coming back home and really starting life anew with her in our home.

I already feel a difference in my outlook on things.

The First Night

We have survived the first night mostly intact. Little miss Anya appears to have a little bit of a cold so drainage is making it fun for her to sleep soundly. She's a trooper though and fights through it. We had two diaper changings and two feeding sessions last night. It's funny to watch her cause she will get a hold of your hand on each side so you can't take the bottle away, lol.

Katy had it rougher as Anya stayed next to her hotel bed last night. I admit its hard to sleep when you want to make sure she is ok after every little grunt. New parent jitters I guess.

We have the long return drive ahead of us. It's about 9 hours normally though I imagine that will go up abit with diaper and feeding stops. We are going to stop and see my sister on the way in so we can show her off. My oldest sister keeps joking that my first baby is her baby so we may have to pry her away!

Here's to a safe trip home.

Introducing Anya Kathleen!!

We have finally welcomed our little girl into our family. Today at almost 2PM we got to hold our little girl for the first time. She is cute as a button. It has been a long wait but worth it. She couldn't be any more perfect. For even such a young age you can see some character there.

It didn't take her long to go through two diapers either ;)

From here out this blog will be about her as she grows up, her firsts, and a celebration of our family coming together just a little bit more.

Edit: Here is a link to a Photobucket slideshow

Adoption Day!!

Today is the day! I can't remember the last time I have been so excited and nervous at the same time. We got word yesterday that the father registry and other paperwork have cleared so we will be able to return home on Wednesday so no spending a week in a hotel room with a the little one.

The family is already planning a gathering for this weekend it seems so it looks like its going to be a busy week. I just hope there is enough time in there for me to have some quality time with my new daughter.

Travel Day

We have spent all weekend getting ready and it's finally the day to head to Texas. Hopefully we have packed well. It's going to be cramped as Katy's mother is going with us to help out. I'm getting anxious now, it's hard to believe that things change so much tommorow. But I welcome those changes.

Week and a half to go..

We are supposed to head down to Fort Worth in about a week and a half. The father registry timeline is almost over so that puts us just that much closer to finally starting our family.

When we first heard about the match a week or more ago I was obviously somewhat guarded, after three that have fallen through you try not to get your hopes up too soon. Having seen pictures of the little one things are just so much more real this time and I find myself letting go more and enjoying the thought of finally bringing a little one home to love.

Each day puts us that much closer and with each day it makes the wait that much more excruciating. For all the jokes and jabs from friends and family about your life changing, no more sleeping in (I don't anyway), I truly cannot wait to start this next chapter in my life.

Perserverence

Going into this process I knew that it would not be "easy" so to speak. There is a lot of paperwork, learning, and preparation that has to be done and the most important piece is the mental strength you have to maintain to push the difficulties, disappointments, and the seemingly never ending wait.

We are now on our 4th match, its really our second because the in the previous two we were not chosen but contacted because our names were on the list for short notice, emergency style placements. Things are looking up for us to head to Texas at the end of the month to adopt a newborn girl. This match fits the closest to what we were looking for in this program and hopefully we can see this one through.


/crossfingers

bt

Frustration

As of today our adoptive mother has left the program and returned home. I do not know the reasoning behind it as she pretty much found an excuse to not talk to us in the last 3 to 5 days. Apparently her roommate did the same thing so I figure there was some nudging from both ends going on.

We had an idea something was up and today confirmed it. Its frustrating because one half of you wants to be careful and tentative about things while the other half wants to jump right into things. Well after doing the latter I am less inclined to do that again. Then again, it might just be the frustration in me at the moment.

At least a decision was made before we made another trip down there. Our first trip to meet was not cheap to say the least.

So we are back on the waiting list. I hope I start feeling better about this sooner or later.

Back Home

We had a good trip and got in late last night. I wasn't feeling good at all when we got in but today seems better. Getting a chance to meet our birth mother was a really great experience and I hope we get to again in the near future.

I was excited to get down there regardless of the fact that the drive is very long but I was not prepared for how stressed I would be heading back. You hope that you have made a good impression and that the birth mother doesn't have seconds thoughts after meeting you and it can really naw at you if you let it.

Thankfully some follow up emails from her have alleviated our concern and hopefully sets up another chance to go down there in the next couple of months. I think we may fly next time. :)

Meeting our birth mother and an extended stay

Yesterday we finally got to meet our birth mother face to face. We had a good time at lunch with her and our case workers. There was alot to talk about and probably more than I could hope to recite here. So we could have a chance for some neutral ground so to speak we spent a few hours at the Fort Worth zoo with our birth mother and had a chance to get away from the Center and some of the formalities. I think it was a good opportunity to have a chance for both sides to open up some.

Today we are meeting her again to window shop at a local mall to give her another chance to get out of the Center for the afternoon. We are gonna pick her up after work and hopefully have a good afternoon to talk and hang out.

The one scary part to all of this. Our hotel reservation was only through today and so far they have been booked up so getting another night hasn't panned out yet. We are about to go check in again to see if there were any cancellations so we can stay put in our hotel again tonight.

/cross fingers

Almost time to meet

We are heading out tomorrow morning to travel to Texas to meet our birth mother. I imagine that the excitement to meet her on Thursday will make the already long drive tomorrow feel twice as long. Looks like the weather is gonna be mostly good for the trip though some rain is bound to show up at some time, hopefully it doesn't. I really like the Fort Worth area so hopefully I can get some pictures while we are there.

Edit 7:38PM

After a looong time on the road we have made it to Fort Worth.

Up to Speed

As stated above, we started the blog to help archive the events of our adoption as well as sharing with others our story. Choosing to adopt was a tough choice. I don't think its something you want to enter into lightly because of the human dynamics involved. It can be stressful. To adopt a child of your own means that a mom is letting someone else raise her child.

We looked at several options including overseas agencies like Hope International but something domestic just seemed to me to be the way to go.

We did some research on domestic programs and sent off for information from the Gladney Center for Adoption. We signed up and were accepted into the their ABC program which provides adoption services for African-American and bi-racial children.

6 months have passed since we completed our application and profile. We had several birth mothers look at our profile. The wait can go from no factor to unbearable, however we knew going into this that the average time from signup to a match was anywhere from 6 to 12 months.

We have now been matched with a birth mother who for now I will refer to as "Jewels." We have spoke to her several times on the phone and we have been invited to the center to have lunch with her and our caseworkers.

While I wish I would have thought to start this blog earlier you are now caught up on how our journey is going so far. We are optimistic that this will work out well. Our birth mother seems to be a really wonderful young lady with a good attitude and sense of humor. I will keep you up to date on how things go.